"A man ain't a man less' he has desire..." those words, this life, my release! Oh that soldier story...
When the walls come down...those words have been the premise of every love story for as long as I can remember. Prolly' as long as my momma' can remember, and then her momma' before that, and her momma' before that. What does it mean though, to have walls that come down? And more importantly...why do we build them in the first place?
I have only had a handful of true friends in my entire adult life but I have never been a girl with 'walls'. I do think women that have hard guarded hearts have a right to have them, pain is a teacher. Walls are protection. But er'body knows, the best kinda' life has no room for walls. No chalkboards, or desks, or instructions for that matter...for love is also a teacher and life is to be lived with an open heart. How else can happiness get in?
"I can get there on my own..." "If you know what's right then you'll walk away..." These lyrics are more important to my writer's heart lately than can be explained. Love. Live. Be opened. We all have a story to write.
Below is an excerpt. Warning, this book is so much more than sex, affairs, and melting moments. It's bout' building walls into a castle, and then watching as they crumble down. To a woman's true heart...I have read and reread this story more times than necessary. I have struggled and fought with my conscious and even my family if truth be told. I know now, this is THE book. My heart is tight for you guys’ to read it. My mouth is even tighter. The song lyrics I refer to is from a song that I have on loop. It's my all time favorite! It isn’t affiliated with this book, but here’s to hopin’ it is with the movie. (; Take a listen and download Kings of Leon- 'Walls' to your playlist. It’s my story. It’s soon to be yours. Happy Tuesday! <3, Elle Moon
The guns were loud. Almost like firecrackers with a drumbeat. The sound rang through the house, causing Bethlehem to bark in ferocious fear at my bare and dirt caked feet. Her whining was a nail biting noise that raked my ears clean with loss as I stared at the sets of footprints on the expensive, white Italian tiles.
I stood in the middle of the kitchen, the baby tight in my arms, my daughter clutched to my side. Her tiny eyes were frozen, opened in mirrors of terror. As I looked into them, I could see the scene to my back like a tiny picture film- the black clothed man, standing above the body of my husband…and the soldier unseen to his left side, hidden by the cabinets along that wall. I had held my breath so long, that my lungs were burning up from their want and though I needed to scream and flee the devastating wink of this moment-
I only held longer.
Ada had started to whimper, her tiny voice muted down so that we could survive. Even in the young years of a child, survival is the first and most important instinct. When Bethlehem left our feet in a growling protest, my Adabug’ stayed firmly put.
I squeezed her small arm in deliberate force so that her eyes would meet mine. When she turned her round and perfect gaze to me, my heart broke. I spoke to her, without sounding a word, and she understood. If Bethlehem went further, she would be killed…but Ada, nor myself would stop her. The crazed gunman had to believe that we would oblige.
I closed my eyes as Ada closed hers. The moment was dragging and pained and smothered in agonizing torture. When the gun mouthed off again, this time closer, I knew what the two of us would open our eyes to. So I pulled my daughter tight to the side of my thigh, and I pressed that perfect face of hers hard against my dress. I pushed and she struggled none.
The place we stood, just to the end of the massive island, made us a sure target once the gunman grew tired of his playtime and headed towards the want of what his devil heart ached to do. A murderer’s soul is much blacker than the darkest parts of any human…and he had come to punish me by taking all I loved in the pop of a sound and the fury of a bullet.
When hell comes, it comes in waves. It burns you of your goodness and leaves nothing left to build again. I had failed my family, I had failed my love. I now stood holding onto a moment where death waited to crumble my wall of lies... but oh heart, how those sand grains' cut when they go. ©Elle Moon AD Press 2016