Tonight at midnight, the witching hour begins. It is probably my most favorite hour of the entire year. I have always loved Halloween. Truth be known, I feel somewhat connected to that holiday. It's the darker parts of this writer's brain that makes this so, I'm sure of that. I feel Halloween differently than most. Maybe because I get to embrace my darkness- the most human part of any of us. I love watching the world put on masks' and hide behind eyes that tell no truth. It's a day we honor the spirit of our dead and eat as much chocolate as we dare. This is All Hallows' Eve for me at least, full of magic and wonder and truth. And it isn't just an excuse to excercise my horror filled writer's brain either...it also has a lot of good memories that I think on. Mostly of my dad, God rest his pretty soul. October is his birthday month and this year it passed by with a quiet moment and a lot of sighs'. I miss him. Like a dry river misses rain. Like a little girl misses bedtime stories. And like a choir singer misses the voice of Jesus...
I miss him... I miss his laugh, his one-liners', and his love. I remember him most this time of year and I tell my little kid all about the grandpa he will never know. Then after Halloween passes, I go back to what I call- choking love. Holding down the feel of who we are and pushing back the missing of it all. Life is like this...anyone that has truly loved and lost knows it. Anyone who has lost period knows it. And dont' we all wish we could change that.
My sister says my dark work is sometimes hard. She says the places I go are beautifully scary and she wonders (call her a fuddy-dud if you must she says) if I am ready to show the world that side of me. I'm not yet sure about it either. Some monsters can't be unseen and so I wait. I write. And I become.
In the last month a quote was sent to me, from one of my favorite one time agents'. "Oh how these humble beginnings lead us to great things..." I think of these words and I ponder at the truth in them. Only she has sampled my horror story...and for now that's all I can say about that.
To the witching hour, to dressing up and letting out the most beautiful parts of who you are... Have a safe holiday er'body and for one night forget bout' having happy reads and go for the darker ones. Have a Happy Halloween! <3, Elle Moon