Love yourself first, the right things fall into place when you know your worth. If I could teach this boy that lesson…
I have told myself this, too many times to count, and yet I have failed to find my place in the whole scheme of acceptance. Loving yourself is one of the most impossible tasks…it’s the fault of our minds’ that make this so. The thoughts we have of ourselves, the knowing of what makes us imperfect. The flaws of a heart aren’t meant to always keep us damaged or damned, and yet our recycling thoughts tell us we will never be good enough. Strong enough. Loved enough. If our wrongs are sposed’ to make us right in the end, then why do we so often punish ourselves and lurk in a regretful state of being in the now? Perhaps because we never learn to love ourselves first? Because we never know our worth.
Let me say this… striving for perfection is a most impossible task. As well it should be. Becoming perfect is a silly and romantic idea and what if... What if our flaws are the most beautiful attributes we humans will ever possess? What if I were to tell you, the flaws of a heart make the best story?
I lost my older brother John on a rainy September day, in a house stuck between two hills, by a creek that ran its mouth from the belly of a coal town. I lost him, too many years ago to say now, and something happened when I did. I was young, unwise, and full of misguidance. I believed in a world where time was endless, days were forever, and tomorrow would always come. I believed in hiding my flaws, fighting them, covering them, but oh how death is a terrible and random dance. It changes you, opens you, widens your flaws till’ nothing is left. The loss becomes a void that can never be filled. I had lost my brother, but with no regard to what I would years later gain…
We gain worth the second we know we can lose. Whether it be the worst kind of loss like a death, or just the loss of a friend, a relationship, a job, a lover. I gained worth the second I lost. For you see, we are all worth more than we accept. We are worth time. We are worth happiness. We are worth hope, and love, and the moments that break our hearts, and the moments that mend them back again, and the moments that take our breath, make us smile, hold us tight, find our peace, discover our place, and-
Show our worth.
I never knew what my real worth was, not till’ I glanced in the mirror and saw all the flaws of myself for what they truly were, what they truly are...which is my own kind of imperfect perfection. For no other person is like you; like me. We are one of a kind, no matter what we are losing or gaining, fighting or winning, giving or taking. In life, we write our own story. And in life we find our own worth...by learning to love our flaws and by learning those flaws make us original- make our story the best.
It’s summer ya’ll…hope you find the most imperfect day can still be the most loved. Know your worth. Find your place and remember, time takes all...so enjoy every moment you are given. I got a book to do now. Happy reads everybody!
<3, Elle Moon